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Joke of the Day

"A man walks into a bar with some tarmac under his arm... And said: ""one for me and one for the road"""

"I started this new whiskey diet. I've lost 4 days already!"

"Asked my dad if he heard about the head tranplant on the news. He said, ""No, but it sounds like it's way ahead of it's time."""

"Have you heard of divorced barbie? Her set costs $450. ...mostly because it comes with Ken's house, Ken's car, and one of Ken's friends."

"How do you plug a plow into a car stereo? Through the ox input."

"3 guys walk into a bar... The 4th guy ducked."

"Watched a documentary about retina surgery the other day.. It was eye-opening."

"Saw a homeless white girl begging for money. I didn't give her any, because I know how they are, always blowing it on Starbucks."

"Knock Knock Knock, Knock. Who's there? Horton. Horton, who? Horton Hears A Who."

"Girls: He's cute. He's cute. He's cute. He's cute. Ewww. Guys: Fuckable. Fuckable. Fuckable. Fuckable. Too fat."