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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a horny priest? A firm believer."

"When people say ""To be honest..."", it means that up to that point they've been lying."

"Around my neighborhood I'm affectionately known as ""Please stop taking pictures of my flowers you weirdo."""

"I feel ripped off. I was with a bunch of kids today and not one of them said anything even remotely darndest."

"Jesus made 6 thousand people bread, but a guy in the 1940s made 6 million people toast."

"Overheard a teenager watching Armageddon for the 1st time (after Bruce Willis blows up): ""lol at least the hot one lived (Ben Affleck)."""

"What do you tell the teenage mutant ninja turtle Raphael when he picks up a miniature version of his weapons? Those are the wrong Sais."

"My dad just called because he was thinking of me & loves me. And THAT'S why I never danced on a pole. Well, that and I got too dizzy."

"What do you call a modified practice amongst border security workers? A custom custom custom."

"What's the difference between a penalty shot in basketball, and a tiny curly wig designed for a bug? One is a free throw, and the other is a flea 'fro."