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Joke of the Day
"I don't want to just eat Olive Garden. I want to eat OLIVE it."
Next Joke
"When I see one of those student driver cars, I always honk a lot and yell, ""You're doing great!"" I think they appreciate the encouragement."
"Just once...one time; can't we buy a tree that doesn't try to attack me when I come home drunk at 2am."
"I got one for you guys... Donald Trump"
"Is it normal for a doctor who sees your penis to yell ""MAGNIFICENT!"" --it's not, right?"
"Bunny Farts What's invisible and smells like carrots?"
"I traded five of my rolex wathces for a ballon animal... It really was a waste of time. (Sorry for any bad english and what not, nord typing)"
"What did all of the birds do to the bird that couldn't fly? They ostrich-sized him"
"I used to work as a waiter at an insane asylum... Serving soup to nuts."
"I don't mean to brag but my stalker has OCD so he trims my bushes while he's hiding in them waiting for me to get home."