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Joke of the Day

"I started up a company selling landmines disguised as prayer mats. Prophets are through the roof!"

"How many Saiyans does it take to change a lightbulb? Just one, but it takes 5 episodes."

"From my 7 year old daughter: What do you call a girl shell? A she shell."

"I hate it when you're on the bus and the local weirdo get on and sits next to you. You know, the ones that watch you having a wank."

"[Talking w/Doc] The wife wants to try period sex ""Seems unsanitary to me"" I dont think u understand- *wife bursts in wearing medieval armor*"

"Why couldn't the hipsters save the hippies? They were too far out."

"Two Tomatos A father tomato and son tomato were walking down the street. The son was falling behind so the father turned around and **STOMPED** on his son. ""**KETCHUP!**"""

"Gangs should do drive-bys with t-shirt guns it'd be less violent & the shirt could say ""you suck"" so the target still gets the message"

"Why was Chuck Norris born by her aunt? Because no one dared to fuck his mother..."

"My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance.... We'll see about that"