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Joke of the Day
"How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? None. That's a man's job."
Next Joke
"*puts finger over your lips* Shhhhhhhhhhhhh *feeds you more applesauce making airplane noises*"
"We get it. If your candidate doesn't win in November, you're moving to the whitest English speaking country you can drive to."
"In my 4th grade class the cutest girl threw away my love letter.. ..so I failed her!"
"You shouldn't personify inanimate objects. They hate it when you do that."
"Just went to an emotional wedding. Even the cake was in tiers."
"Happy Birthday Girlfrien. I didn't put the D because you'll get that later."
"What's 6.9? A good thing screwed up by a period"
"Why did Hugh Jackman single handedly stop a Franciscan botanist from accidentally dropping a match in the forest? Because only Hugh can prevent florist friars."
"My version of flirting is looking at someone I find attractive multiple times and hoping they're more brave than I am."