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Joke of the Day

"Add 5 years onto your age That's how old you'll be in 5 years."

"I think I might be dying But I really like the color of my hair right now."

"Do you know where I can buy tickets to the Gun Show? at the Armitorium."

"I am a dyslexic agnostic insomniac. I lie awake at night wondering if there is a dog."

"Why aren't you allowed alcohol on a golf course? Because it's a crime to drink and drive."

"Cop: Been drinking tonight, ma'am? Me: No, I'm just dizzy b/c I'm having a heavy flow day. It's really clotty and... Cop: You're free to go."

"Why did the hipster burn his mouth? He drank the coffee before it was cool "

"Why do people keep building so many new mausoleums? Because people are dying to get in."

"Has there been a day when reddit hasn't been down cause of server problems? Yes. When the SOPA/PIPA protest happened."

"Confucius on baseball Confucius say ""Baseball wrong, man with 4 balls can't walk"""