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Joke of the Day

"Hey, you funny fellows, what are some nonchalant jokes to tell people that do not sound like a joke at first? I need to impress my friends with Internet stuff, gosh."

"A random stranger laughed at how I was lactose intolerant How dairy"

"What does Batman do with all his spare money? He makes it wayne"

"What's worse than eating out your grandmother? Banging your head on the coffin lid."

"Summer was especially good this year in Canada... If I recall correctly it was a friday"

"""It's just bananas, bananas, bananas with you,"" the wife shouted. ""If I told you I was going to leave you because of this ridiculous obsession, what would you say?"" ""Well, thanks a bunch,"" I replied."

"No one plans to fail. They just go online. Then check their e-mail. Then go to twitter...and it just happens organically."

"What did the boy cat say to the girl cat on Valentine's Day? You're purrr-fect for me!"

"You know who I hate the most? Indian givers. No wait, I take that back."

"My wife is a sex object I ask for sex, she objects"