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Joke of the Day

"Number of US states who claim above average elementary test scores? 50. Number of US states who shouldn't be allowed to teach math? 25."

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"How many snowboarders does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Only 3: One to screw it in, another to film it, and a last one to say ""sick turns brah!"""
"Who called them ""homo erectus'"" and not... Wait, that's actually pretty funny. Good job guy who named them ""homo erectus'"""
"Want to hear this... *running* joke? Then you better go catch it!"
"If Killing someone else is homicide... ... and killing yourself is suicide. Then killing your mother-in-law must be pesticide."
"Why should you distrust atoms? Because they make up an awful lot of stuff. EDIT: Because I forgot about neutrinos."
"A snake walks into a bar... The bartender says, ""How did you do that?"""
"Couples that stay fit together don't trust each other enough to go to the gym alone"
"I'm a Gentleman. I'll always give a woman my umbrella if it's raining outside. Unless she's wearing white of course."
"I'm mad at myself for losing an argument while rehearsing it in my head, so don't tell me how hard your life is"