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Joke of the Day

"If you're ever attacked by a mob of angry Vegans... ...don't worry about it. They're too weak to hurt you."

"What do you call a cat that urinates in your shoes? Piss in boots Credit: My flatmate"

"What goes dot-dot-croak dot-dash-croak ? Morse toad !"

"Ever since I downloaded AdBlock on my computer... All the local girls in my area seem to have lost interest."

"I'd tell you a chemistry joke but... I know I wouldn't get a reac- ***JOKE RETRACTED BY THE FINE BROS***"

"How to open new toy: 1. Cut tape with machete. 2. Take shot. 3. Undo 23,518 twist ties. 4. Take 3 shots. 5. Watch child play with box."

"Why don't melons marry on a whim? They cantaloupe."

"A waffle is just a more considerate pancake. It's like, here, let me hold that syrup for you in these convenient boxes."

"What did Sean Connery say when his books fell on his head? I blame my shelf"

"What did Kurtis Blow tell his son when teaching him how to drive? THESE are the brakes!"