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Joke of the Day

"I wonder if girls got mad on dates in the 1700's because guys kept checking their treasure maps."

"I've bought tickets to all One Directions upcoming gigs.They're not my cup of tea but the tickets say The Doors open at 7:15 and i love them"

"Your first mistake was wearing heels in this dodgeball tournament, Jason. The second was thinking that they went with that dress."

"There's no I in team But there are quite a few of them in Multiple Personality Disorder"

"Overheard this at Grand Canyon. ""Why do they put chicken wire around these plants? Other guy:"" To protect the chicken plants"""

"People who eat ass have a shitty taste in sex"

"I just got back from my friend's funeral. He died after being hit on the head with a tennis ball... It was a lovely service."

"it might be a handjob for her... but it's a career for me."

"I bet if I got one of those jumbo 16-slice toasters, people would finally take me seriously."

"What's the capital of Greece? Right now about $2.55 AUD."