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Joke of the Day
"What insect lives on nothing? Moths, because they eat holes."
Next Joke
"The most dangerous piece of machinery a person can operate while drinking is the telephone"
"My sister Crystal I asked my mother earlier today why my sister was named Crystal. Mother: That's because I love crystals so much. Me: What about my name then? Mother: No more questions today, Dick."
"What do you find in the filing cabinets of a law firm? Organised crime."
"Doctor: ""I think this patient is dying. What blood type is he?"" Nurse: ""B positive."" Doctor: ""Okay. I don't think this patient is dying."""
"[Spelling bee, to clench victory] ""O,P... (hesitates) A,W,E,S,O,M,E."" Judges? (Opossum judges whispering for a bit) Correct."
"Fast food places should have a third window, where you can trade in the wrong stuff they gave you at the second window."
"A man walks into a gay bar.......... The bartender asks ""Would you like me to push in your stool?"""
"What kind of cell phone doesn't have a lock? A Nokia"
"Someone should have warned me, that when you have kids, they talk to you, like, ALL. THE. TIME."