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Joke of the Day
"A fascist walks into a bar.. he orders 1 strong liter."
Next Joke
"The only downside of kissing a 10 is How cold your lips get from kissing the mirror..."
"My skills Precision. Concentration. Patience. Fearlessness. Four skills I possess while shaving my nuts that I wish I could apply to other aspects of my life."
"What do Penises and Rubik's Cubes have in common? The more you play with them, the harder they get"
"""Oh man, that thing looks irritated"" - me, pulling into the airport parking lot and seeing my mother-in-law waiting on the curb"
"These Jehovah's Witnesses are getting creative. They are now knocking on my door dressed as cops saying they have a warrant."
"my computer is organized exactly like my brain, which is to say that I just found a photo of a baby weasel alone in a folder called ""good"""
"So Muhammad Ali is dead... Is it too soon for a punchline?"
"Confucius say lucky girl is girl who meets boy in park; Confucius say lucky boy is boy who parks meat in girl."
"I would request a bunch of Ambien as my last meal so I would look hardcore as hell by falling asleep at my own execution"