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Joke of the Day

"Batman's parents....... or not. Guy: Hey, I just saw them. Batman: Who? Guy: Not your parents. Batman: Y U DO THIS??? Guy: Because they told me to. Batman: Who told you to? Guy: Not your parents."

"[Heaven] Me: What happened? God: You were sending a DM & got hit by a bus. Me: I only have one ques- God: Sorry, man. She was totes a dude."

"And on the 8th day, God created atheists and said, ""Oh man, you're not gonna believe this."""

"What's a Dragon Ball fan's favourite food? Vegeta-bles"

"If I can eat or drink it in less than two minutes, don't tell me it's 3.5 servings."

"What do you call an assault which is both positive and negative? A battery."

"What do you call a promiscuous woman who travels a lot? Abroad."

"Dentist: Did you deliberately loosen this tooth? Me: Why would I do that? D: ok...[extracts tooth & hands me a lolly] Me: *winks at camera*"

"Baby talk is confusing, desperate to find out if the baby was in pain I had to do it I had to ... ... Google gaga."

"Why don't north Koreans listen to funk? Cos they've got no Seoul! Thank you very much."