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Joke of the Day

"""To infinity (bed, bath) and beyond!"" - Buzz Lightyear settles down"

"I was almost in a devil's threesome once, but at the last minute the other guy backed out. So i looked at the girl and said... ""Well that's a load off your back"""

"When a Vietnamese person has the same first and last name... It's a Nguyen Nguyen situation."

"(x-post from /r/lotr) How many Nazgul does it take to kill a hobbit? Ten."

"So this pirate walks into a bar and he has the ships wheel attached to his hips. The bar tender says, ""wow that looks uncomfortable!"" The pirate responds, ""ARGH ITS DRIVING ME NUTS!!!"""

"How many Tenors does it take to screw in a Lightbulb? Trick Question. They only think they can reach that high."

"Why are karate people always breaking boards? Did boards kill their parents?"

"Why did the marble countertop leave the kitchen? It was tired of being taken for granite."

"What did the police officer say to the man who was urinating publicly? ""Urine trouble, mate!"""

"I've decided to get help with my drug habit. I've managed to convince some friends to give me bulk discounts."