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Joke of the Day
"Why was the robber so secure? He was a safe robber."
Next Joke
"A fight or flight situation. Like when you go to pick up your kid and the teacher's walking towards you with ""the look"" on her face."
"Why don't gays like to play hide-and-seek? Because everyone knows they're in the closet"
"I couldn't find my eye drops today It seems like eye dropped it. :|"
"When someone says ""Happy New Years"" I wonder, how many years are they talking about?"
"Top Five Accountant Taboos: 5. Unreconciled difference 4. Doesn't foot & crossfoot 3. No journal entry support 2. Cooking the books 1. Sex"
"I visited a small village where they had a cat for a king and a dog for a queen... ...they were reigning cats and dogs."
"I wish my ears would visibly lay back like a cats when I'm pissed off so people would know when to leave me the hell alone."
"[God, creating pigeons] Make them pace back and forth like a lawyer."
"95% of the world is retarded I'm glad I'm part of the 10%"