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Joke of the Day

"UPCOMING JESUS APPERANCES 8/3 Pancake, Norfolk, VA 8/10 Cheeto, Salem, OR 8/19 Window stain, Orem, UT 8/23 Vegemite Jar, Perth, AU"

"Lois Lane would probably be terrible at picking out the right suspect in a Police lineup."

"A number fight there was this 1,2,3,4,5,6,7 ganging on a 0, he tightened his belt and became an 8 and beat them all"

"Why is grammar class the most boring? It puts all the students in a ,"

"My pet dog named Doug ran away. Now everybody calls me Doug-less. :("

"My wife said she wanted to be treated like a princess So I put her into the back of a Mercedes and drove her into a wall."

"I like my women how I like my toll pass Funded and mounted"

"Fact: If you eat a slice of pizza fast enough, your body won't understand how many calories are in it."

"I know the voices in my head aren't real but sometimes their ideas are just absolutely awesome!"

"I have a new party trick. I swallow two bits of string and an hour later they come out my arse tied together... I shit you knot!"