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Joke of the Day

"Come with me and I will help you realize your full insignificance."

"I'm saving myself for a girl without pepper spray."

"Why do physicists have such a hard time figuring out why their experiments fail Monday through Thursday? Causal fridays."

"Whenever I shoot something into the trash, I yell ""Kobe!"" But then, my friend follows up by yelling ""Jack!"" I don't get what he's trying to say, but he sure is acting cheesy."

"I met this amazing girl last night but got off on the wrong foot. She wanted it on her left foot. I can't help that I have horrible aim."

"You Guys Wanna Hear a Nice Joke? Nevermind it's probably too soon."

"A man is at a drug store A man is at a drug store and asks the clerk for 50 condoms. The 2 girls behind him start laughing when he turns around he says ""Make that 52"""

"What is a pirates favorite letter? P. Because without it, he'd be irate."

"When someone says to me great minds think alike, I just look at them and think ""you dirty bastard""."

"The best thing to do on New Years Eve is set the microwave timer with the countdown so the first thing that happens that year is Pizza Rolls"