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Joke of the Day

"Congrats everyone! my eldest son Glandon is now 240 months old and can phsyically overpower me even when grounded"

"Chuck Norris actually built the stairway to heaven."

"Stephen Hawking believes he's solved a huge mystery about black holes ...and he'll keep believing as long as we all play along, ok? He's adorable."

"If I had a nickel for every gender... I'd have ten cents and a dead meme"

"Why didn't crab and lobster like to share? They were both two shellfish"

"What do a walrus and a zip-lock bag have in common? They're both looking for a tight seal."

"Why didn't Microsoft release Windows 9? Because Windows 7 ate 9."

"I went to the zoo the other day... The only animal they had was a small dog. It was a shih tzu"

"How many hippies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Hippies don't screw in light bulbs, they screw in dirty sleeping bags."

"You can tune a guitar, but you can't tune a fish"