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Joke of the Day

"A man calls a tobacco shop ... Caller: Do you have Prince Albert in a can? &nbsp; Clerk: Yes. &nbsp; Caller: Well, let him out! &nbsp;"

"After a long day at work, I like to spend time at home with my liquor cabinet oh and my wife I guess and that thing that poops."

"I told a girl she had drawn her eyebrows on too high... She looked surprised."

"""I don't get why our troops need to wear camouflage, when they could just wear glasses..."" -Superman"

"If I was a girl my best friend would have to come untangle me at least twice a week because I tried to take my bra off through my sleeve"

"Two Police officers. Two police officers crash their car into a tree. After a moment of silence, one of them says: ""Wow, that's got to be the fastest we've ever gotten to an accident site."""

"*painting your nails* one hand : perfect. other hand : looks like a blind cat did it."

"What's the difference between a sharply dressed man on a unicycle and a poorly dressed man on a bicycle? A tire"

"A guy walks into a bar... It hurt."

"The first rule of parenting is: never negotiate with terrorists."