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Joke of the Day
"I told a girl she had drawn her eyebrows on too high... She looked surprised."
Next Joke
"Objects on twitter may appear funnier than they are."
"What do you call a country that doesn't use credit cards? A Czech Republic"
"Why did the dead baby cross the road? It was attached to my bumper..."
"What type of objects do not accelerate, regardless of the force applied? Letterhead and envelopes. No matter how hard you try, they remain stationery!"
"What does JK Rowling text her friends to let them know that she was just kidding :("
"How do you know when your girlfriend is getting fat? She can fit into your wife's clothes"
"Roses are red, violets are blue...valentine's crap is over now don't you have some ironing to do"
"[LPT] Choose the song you hate the most as your alarm tone and place your phone as far as possible Then turn your phone off and sleep like a champion."
"Now, if you all will excuse me I'm going into my closet and I'm not coming out until I find something with an elastic waist..."