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Joke of the Day

"Him- All of your fantasies include me, right? *imagines flying on a Pegasus with Thor* H- Are you waving at the ground? Me-Yes to both"

"Accidently played dad instead of dead when I encountered a bear. Now it can ride a bike without training wheels."

"Do you think all Asians look alike? Are you Chris Chen? No, I'm Daniel Hsu. Do you think all Asians look alike or something? No, I mean, do you believe in Jesus?"

"When you say you don't feel good ""Are you pregnant?"" -people without kids ""Do you have to poop?"" -people with kids"

"You said you couldn't live without me, so it's very inconsiderate of you not to be dead."

"Earth, Venus, Mars, and Jupiter were going to setup a party But they failed because nobody knew how to planet"

"What do you call a fake shit? A sham poo"

"Whats the Slogan for every I.T. Department in America? ""Mmmm. Move Over."""

"I watched my first Porn the other day I looked so much younger back then!"

"A man, his wife, his kid, and his dog all walk into a bar. *Ouch!* *Ouch!* *Ouch!* *Woof!*"