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Joke of the Day

"When you say you don't feel good ""Are you pregnant?"" -people without kids ""Do you have to poop?"" -people with kids"

"First rule of Botox club: Nobody look surprised when someone new joins."

"What's the difference between handguns and feminists? A handgun only has one trigger."

"I have a roommate. She cleans my room, I clean hers. We are maid for each other."

"What do you call two lesbian Indians (native americans) in a canoe? Fur Traders"

"Today we put differences aside and wish peace and love to all mankind. Except for Verizon who I hate."

"Just showed my 4 yo niece that I can still do a cartwheel and now she is showing me where the ice packs are."

"Screaming, ""Hitler and the Nazi Party are in a disarray!"" when nudged at parties tells everyone that you fall asleep to the History Channel."

"Looks like Putin is having Turkey for Thanksgiving aff"

"My snack didn't taste very good. Now I'm gonna hafta cleanse the palate w a large buffalo chicken pizza for lunch I know. Life's tough."