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Joke of the Day

"I don't know why Chic-Fil-A is so popular... Their food always leaves a fowl taste in my mouth."

"My dream guy is hot, funny and smart. And he'll ask me to marry him with a green lantern ring. And he has powers. And a castle. And Yoshi."

"What do you call it when an Asian composer really needs the bathroom? Rover Flows Out Of You."

"""if our love was a tweet, i'd fav, RT and 'gram a screen grab, bae."" - modern vows"

"I wonder what its like to fart in zero gravity. Does it like...propel you forward? These are things people need to know NASA!"

"I'm a member of DAM Mothers Against Dyslexia"

"What do you call a lost crayon? a Strayola"

"What's the worst part of having a girl repeatedly calling another mans name during sex? Wondering who the hell names their son Rape."

"If you have sex with a prostitute... ...against her will, is it considered rape or shoplifting?"

"Sites that are selling my tweets for money.1. Twitter2. FavStar3. Funny Tweeter <3 you guys!"