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Joke of the Day
"Sites that are selling my tweets for money.1. Twitter2. FavStar3. Funny Tweeter <3 you guys!"
Next Joke
"Why did the baker have smelly hands? Because he needed a poo."
"My wife once told me she was a rich b***h. Turns out she was only half right..."
"Here's to the stork that brings good babies, the raven that brings bad babies... And the swallow that brings no babies."
"How do you like your eggs? Over here"
"Me: *takes her shirt off & sees a padded bra* whoa Her: I'm so sorry, are you upset? M: *pulls a salami out of my shorts* let's call it even"
"I don't have enough confidence in plumbing to get a drink of water from the faucet while the toilet is flushing."
"Some of you talk more than my wife. The good news is I can just unfollow you instead of burying you in the back yard to shut you up."
"Joke of The Day 6/9/14 Slept like a log last night........Woke up in the fireplace."
"Lying on a hospital bed, I pull you in close, and with my dying breath, I whisper, ""Name one of your Pokemon after me"""