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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend's ex won't leave her alone. I'd drive there and do something about it if my wife would just give me the keys."

"Heard about the two guys who stole a calendar? They both got 6 months"

"TERMINOTOR: come with me if u want to live ME: ok cool *just sits there* TERMINOTOR: COME WITH ME IF-- ME: ya i got it. im good right here"

"Technology would be better if you could download sandwiches."

"I think twitter is the Malaysian plane of the internet. No one on here has been seen by their family in weeks."

"Want to hear a joke about pizza? meh... you'd just think it was cheesy."

"What do you call lonely cheese? Prov-alone"

"Really shouldn't If you're always Putin things off, you'll end up Russian."

"Where do Muslims go when they die? Everywhere"

"This Friday millions of people will risk getting trampled to get the best seat on a car This is commonly referred to as 'Rebecca Black Friday'."