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Joke of the Day

"Include a snapshot of Doge the dog with your #resume. When asked about it during the interview, reply ""What do you meme?"""

"What's the saddest computer you can buy? A Dell"

"Grandpa: What's the difference between a butt kisser and a brown-noser? Depth perception"

"My father told me that I should condition more and shampoo less I told him to stop getting in the shower with me"

"I have two children, one's five months and the other is twenty one months... ...we didn't want too big a gap, so my wife had them both by caesarean. -Ed Byrne"

"What does a male prostitute say when his phone keeps ringing after he's seen 3 clients in a row? ""FOUR FUCKS ACHE!!"""

"Why are teachers happy at Halloween parties? Because there is lots of school spirit!"

"At my funeral the priest will throw my corpse into the crowd and whoever catches it will be the next to die"

"In a cementary, I saw a guy crouching behind a tombstone. Morning, I said. No, he said, just taking a dump... ."

"A Polish Man Invented The Toilet Seat A few days later, a German decided to cut a hole in it."