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Joke of the Day

"I have two children, one's five months and the other is twenty one months... ...we didn't want too big a gap, so my wife had them both by caesarean. -Ed Byrne"

"HR: The delivery job is yours. Me: Great! HR: Do u have a reliable car? Me: Yes. HR: Model? Me: A little in college. How is that relevant?"

"So I went to a feminist picnic the other day. It was great, but no one would make me a sandwich."

"Whats the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair..."

"Your cough turns me on ""That's sick."""

"You'd think that the guy in charge of putting pepperoni on frozen pizzas would've been up for a performance review by now."

"[white house staff meeting] Obama: Any questions? *Biden raises hand* Obama: Spongebob is yellow Joe. *Biden returns to coloring book*"

"What do you call the rabbit up the elephant's sweater ? Terrified !"

"If Miley Cyrus really wanted to shock us at the VMAs, she'd show up in a burka covered in a snowsuit and slowly add more clothing each hour."

"How do yo get to Sesame Street? Unzip my pants and ask big bird"