192093
Joke of the Day
"For Jesus this was anything but a Good Friday."
Next Joke
"Even if God himself appeared & said ""Dude, I am real and you need to go to church today,"" I would still be like ""Yeah it's been a long week"""
"A man goes into a library and asks for a book on suicide. The librarian tells him... ""Fuck off you won't bring it back"""
"Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? It had great food, but no atmosphere."
"What did the dragon say as he entered the party? Hey, how are you *Alduin*?"
"What do you call a Chicken staring at lettuce? Chicken Caesar Salad"
"I want this Twitter account to outlive me by 100 years. I want my grandchildren to read my Tweets and say, ""Holy fuck. She was so weird."""
"When someone tries to hand me a flyer... ...it's kind of like saying ""Here, you throw this away."""
"Letting the cat out of the bag is a whole lot easier than putting it back in."
"What do you call? What do you call 'nuts on a chest'? chestnuts. What do you call 'nuts on a wall'? walnuts. What do you call 'nuts on a chin'? .... A dick in your mouth."