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Joke of the Day

"The problem with being gay It's a pain in the ass"

"If you use your alarm to look for your car in a parking lot someone will eventually help you find it by yelling ""It's over here you idiot!"""

"Rosie O'Donnell is such a hipster ...she hated Trump before it was cool."

"I keep having this reoccurring dream Every night I dream I'm constantly changing between being a teepee and a wigwam. I went to the doctor and he told me ""Calm down kid, you're two tents.""."

"Why does Tyler Perry put his name on everything he makes? So you know what shows *not* to watch."

"What do paper towels call their family? NapKIN"

"What is 32% black, 45% white... ...gets lit up and changes to blue and red at night? Chicago."

"I just bought shoes from a drug dealer I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day"

"Went to Whole Foods today, because we needed $157 worth of pesto and breads that will be stale in an hour."

"[end of interview] Any questions for me? Yes. Why didn't the glass slipper also disappear at midnight? YOU ARE SO HIRED."