191909

Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between an epileptic cornhusker and a hooker with diarrhea? One shucks between fits..."

"[First date] Me: ""So, what do you do?"" Date: ""I'm a librarian."" Me: ""Oh, my bad."" *Whispers for the entire rest of the date*"

"Mobile tweeting with 3% battery is a lot like the band playing while the titanic sank"

"Where do you find a zebra? 25 letters after a, brah."

"""Please stop being mean"" - Me 3 seconds in to a rap battle"

"How can you tell if a woman is bi-polar? She works at two different strip clubs."

"You put the shhh in bullshhhit."

"How come the leader of the USSR from the 1920's to 1951 never got anything done? ...because he was always Stalin."

"""Lets put the slowest computer ever into the gas pump & make people answer 15 questions before we allow them to pump gas"" - Pump Engineers"

"Who created the first diswasher? God, and her name was Eve."