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Joke of the Day

"Whats the difference between a mosquito & a hot blonde chick? A mosquito stops sucking when you slap it"

"I remember when Halloween was the scariest night of the year... Now, it's Election night."

"What are facts about canines we must believe? Dogma"

"Dear Monday. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my weekend. Prepare to die."

"A man walks into a bar So a man walked into the bar carrying a roll of Tarmac. He orders one pint and one for the road."

"My mate asked me if Wonderwall was the most culturally influential track of all time I said maybe"

"My daughter said, ""You're the best mommy ever!"" I'm really proud that she's learning sarcasm at such a young age."

"I can't trust my heart or my brain to tell me who the next President will be But I can trust my Vegas bookie and will be talking to him in October"

"Life is like a bowl of soup. You only get blown if you're hot."

"Those who dont discriminate sexually are called bisexuals"