191523

Joke of the Day

"Don't drink and drive. Unless you can totally handle it and people need to relax because you're fine."

Next Joke
 
"I promise to remain the same grounded, gracious, friend I've always been after winning $7 from Powerball #dreams"
"What is Israel's favorite planet? Jewpiter"
"My friend keeps saying, ""cheer up man it could be worse, you could be stuck underground in a hole full of water."" I know he means well."
"We are friends until the waiter sets that plate of nachos down on the table, then we are mortal enemies"
"This girl's skinny jeans are so Goddamn tight, I think I finally know what a Pancreas looks like."
"I know where you live In a house"
"You look like I could use some sex."
"It was a terrible summer for Humpty Dumpty. But he had a great fall."
"[3 dads circling new neighbor on their bikes] ""im not looking for any trouble"" all three dads in unison: HI NOT LOOKING FOR TROUBLE IM DAD"
Terms & Privacy