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Joke of the Day

"It's not a bad movie, but it is hard to believe a character named Captain America wouldn't be morbidly obese."

"#1 Handjob Tip for Women: Use your mouth."

"I don't care who dies in the movie but it better not be the dog."

"Whats similar between a hurricane and women? They come in hot and wet and leave with **THE LAWN CHAIRS WE BOUGHT TOGETHER SARA YOU BITCH!**"

"I once dated a girl with twelve nipples Sounds weird, dozentit?"

"Tripler's Dating Tips 20/50: hide a tape recorder in your pocket with a laugh track on it and press play after every single thing you say"

"What's worse than having a girlfriend with no tits? Having tits and no girlfriend."

"Two guys walk into a bar, Which is kinda stupid because you'd think the second guy would have seen it."

"Why did they have to call Aquaman Aquaman Because they couldn't call him Seaman"

"What did the young witch say to her mother ? Can I have the keys to the broom tonight !"