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Joke of the Day

"A week is five days of wishing you had nothing to do followed by two days of wishing you had something to do"

"Nuts. When you have nuts on the wall they're called walnuts. When you have nuts on your chest they're called chestnuts. When you have nuts on your chin you're called a cocksucker."

"How do you know if a Russian vampire is gay? If Vladimir Putin it in the butt."

"So, Thor is going to be female from now on. I bet Chris Hemsworth wishes he'd paid more attention to the small print when signing that Avengers contract"

"I can't wait to see the new movie, ""Constipation"" Unfortunately it hasn't come out yet."

"okay, i admit it. you're wrong."

"How can you tell when a skunk is angry? It raises a stink!"

"Whats green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels."

"Every day I see my baby nephew, I lift him up repeatedly and say ""whee."" French is a tough language to learn. I want him to get a head start. :)"

"A prison inmate walks into a bar."