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Joke of the Day
"Hey, you have something in your teeth! Person B: What? Person A: Plaque."
Next Joke
"Kristen Stewart is unable to be here today, so accepting the award on her behalf is this large bowl of cold mashed potatoes."
"How do you count cows? You use a cow-culator. Or you round them up. Or any other method the commenters want."
"Why did the can crusher quit his job? Because it was soda-pressing"
"I hate grocery shopping. That's why I just steal a full cart when somebody turns away. I never know what I'm getting, but it sure is faster."
"My friend recently visited London. He said everyone was very polite, except in Greenwich. Whenever he asked someone for the time they got all mean about it."
"Hey baby, are you a parking ticket? because i'm not going to pay you"
"My friend brought me to a club for philosophical digging. It got pretty deep. ^*I* ^*tried*"
"This day needs cyanide."
"When Dealing with Penises, Some are Born Great, and some have Greatness Thrust inside them"