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Joke of the Day

"Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee... ...go to bed at 3 AM as if you did not have to get up at 7."

"I've been dating a homeless girl So I've been dating this homeless girl. Things are getting pretty serious. She asked me to move out with her."

"Why are men like blenders? You need one, but you're not quite sure why."

"My computer keeps giving me an error message saying ""The Printer Can't Be Found."" Uh buddy it's RIGHT NEXT TO YOU, HELLO"

"A guy gans into the butcher's... ... and says ""Gie us a steak and kidley pie."" So the butcher laughs and goes ""You just said kidley."" And the goes ""Naw, I didley."""

"Why do girls always walk around in odd numbered groups? Because they can't even."

"Johnny Depps wife filed for divorce, thanks a lot Australia! This is why nice people don't visit you!"

"How do you make a hormone? ... Don't pay her."

"Have you heard of the hard-working blind prostitute? You really gotta hand it to her."

"Have you seen that new documentary about constipation? Oh that's right, it hasn't come out yet.."