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Joke of the Day

"I'd be the X-man who was always pointing out the continuity flaws in our storyline"

"Feminist I don't understand why women want to be equal when they could be better. That shows a lack of ambition to me. Which is why men are better."

"Threw some protein bars in the trash & now the raccoons are bench pressing my neighbors Great Dane in the backyard."

"I like to take candy from a kid cause sugar is bad for them. Then, I eat it in front of them while saying, ""don't do this"""

"How do you make a Kleenex dance? Put a little boogie in it."

"What do the Mafia and pussies have in common? One slip of the tongue, and you're in deep shit"

"Did you know there is a species of deer that can jump higher than the average house? This is due to its powerful hind legs and the fact the average house cannot jump."

"Guy cut me off & I shouted, ""you are unable to pleasure your wife. OR HUSBAND."" Cause he needs to know I'm angry, yet progressive."

"My band is called 999 megabytes. We don't have any gigs. lol"

"What idiot called it a vet instead of a dogtor."