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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend just dumped me for talking too much about video games What a ridiculous thing to fallout 4"

"I asked my friend if you could meet anyone living or dead, who would you choose? He said, ""Donald Trump, dead."""

"Me: ""Gee Thanks for spilling Cheerios all over the floor."" 3yo: ""You're welcome Mom, look at this!""*scatters more on floor I deserve that."

"My ex girlfriend broke up with me because I quoted Linkin Park too much. But in the end it doesn't even matter."

"Do the republicans shocked that Trump is their nominee also get surprised when they put cake batter in the oven and it becomes a cake?"

"What's a vampire's favorite hobby? In-grave-ing."

"How does moses make coffee? Hebrews it"

"MONDAY Y U NO FUN FUN FUN LIKE FRIDAY?"

"Why don't orphans like baseball? Because they don't know were home is XD"

"What's the difference between a lesbian and a Ritz cracker? Ones a snack cracker and the others a crack snacker."