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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend just dumped me for talking too much about video games What a ridiculous thing to fallout 4"

"I have CDO. It's like OCD, but in alphabetical order as it should be."

"What did it say on the former chairman of the Hypochondriac Association's tombstone? Told you!"

"I know weathermen get excited about snow, but it's kind of distracting when they jerk off during the forecast."

"What do you call a Jewish Pokemon trainer? Ash."

"WIFE: The police are at the front door ME: *hiding a bag of donuts* Do they look mad?"

"My six replaced the toilet paper roll all on her own and now I'm wondering who her real dad is."

"What do you call a child afraid of Santa? Claustrophobic"

"Everything is edible, some things are only edible once."

"Why can't you have two Apple watches? Because then it would be a pair (pear)!"