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Joke of the Day

"Why are barns so noisy? All the cows have horns"

"What did the doctor say to the prosecutor? You're trying my patients!"

"My doctor told me I had stop masturbating. I asked why and she said ""because you're in my office and it's fucking disgusting."" Fair enough."

"Why are there no Walmarts in Iraq? Because they're all Targets."

"Torn this election season. I think it would be awesome to have the first woman president. But I'm also curious about the apocalypse."

"I buy every comic book I see. . . My friends say I have lots of issues."

"Round metal object they throw at the olympics Discuss."

"Sorry I can't pay my rent this month, I bought an apple at the airport."

"A ninja turdle is when you poop really fast."

"Ive decided to run a marathon for charity I didn't want to do it at first, but apparently it's for blind and disabled kids so I think I've got a good chance of winning."