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Joke of the Day
"""You're either going to love me or hate me."" - someone you will definitely hate"
Next Joke
"2 peanuts walk into an elevator One was Ray Rice and the other was assaulted"
"Why are Pakistan not allowed to play football? Because every time they get a corner they set up a shop."
"I saw a fight between two Mobius strips It was a little one sided (One of them had a Klein bottle)"
"What do you say to a two headed monster? Hello hello."
"What do women and computers have in common? You only learn to appreciate them when they go down on you for the first time."
"How does a butcher introduce his wife to his friends? ""Meet Patty"""
"Batman: *puts on glasses* Hey do I still look like Bruce Wayne? Superman: Um obviously. Batman: Think about that for a second."
"Kid behind me on plane kicking my chair and coloring. *turns around* *grabs one of his crayons* *slowly breaks it* *whispers ""you're next""*"
"I'm deleting some dumb tweets. I need all your passwords please."