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Joke of the Day

"People who love sausage and respect the law should never watch either being made."

"What does a hairstylist call their resume? A tresume."

"Yo mama is so fat that she is voting for Sanders COLONEL SANDERS"

"As we enter 2015, it's refreshing to see that racism no longer exists in the US. Black people can now be anything they want to be As long as it's the President or shot."

"Nice guys don't finish last.. They finish alone in the shower."

"There's a lady at work named Lillian Llewellyn who carries a briefcase and I like to imagine it falling open and spilling a bunch of L's"

"What do you call Albert Einstein giving a handjob? A stroke of genius."

"When I die, I want a disease named after me, with symptoms that include ""being fucking awesome at everything."""

"So embarrassing when you compliment a lady on her large belly and it turns out she's just pregnant."

"How do you blow a movie quote? You just put your lips together and whistle"