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Joke of the Day

"I like my coffee the same way I like my slaves.... Free."

"What do you get for the women who has everything? A divorce, then she'll only have half of everything."

"The people at Netflix are geniuses. I'm impressed that they were able to make a show based on a swimming pool game! I wonder what they'll try next."

"I accidental typed sinroof instead of sunroof and I may have just invented the greatest thing ever."

"Came up with this one when I was 10: what do you get when you cross an elephant and a snail? I don't know either, but it sure won't be good for your vegetable garden."

"Eye no howe too spiel"

"Halloween costume... Guy 1 at Halloween party: Hey look, Steve's wife dressed up like Wonder Woman. Guy 2 at Halloween party: Yeah, it makes you wonder if she's a woman."

"How did the scarecrow win a noble prize? He was *out standing* in his field."

"ME: ""Hey, the 1980s called and they want their pants back"" STRANGER WHO IS SECRETLY A TIME COP: ""They called?! That's a level 3 violation!"""

"Before you judge somebody, you should walk a mile in their shoes.. That way you're a mile away from them, and you have their shoes."