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Joke of the Day

"My favorite thing to do at the library is leave browser tabs open with search results for ""best way to clean vomit off a keyboard??"""

"My uber driver asked me how my day was so I opened the door and quietly rolled into the road."

"Have anyone heard that band The Prevention? They are WAY better than The Cure."

"What song title defines a redditor's love life? ""Left Hand Free"" By alt-J"

"Kevin Hart is performing in Baltimore tonight..... Should be a riot :p"

"A Roman soldier walks into a bar He holds up two fingers and says ""I'll have five beers please"""

"What's a bulimiac's favourite porno? Deep throat"

"[eharmony] based on your responses, your perfect match is a trashcan.. [me] aww [eharmony] ..full of raccoons [me] omg I love raccoons"

"Now tell me how old your baby is in HOURS."

"I'm really tired all the time, I think I have stereo... It's like I have mono times two"