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Joke of the Day

"Why do French tanks have rear view mirrors? So they can see the battle!"

"The premise of Batman is that, deep down, all billionaires just want to be first-year patrol cops"

"The perfect kiss and the perfect high five are indistinguishable emotionally."

"Why do nurses smack newborn babies on the back before handing them over to their parents... To knock the dicks off of the stupid ones"

"""Makin all the ladies drop they panties"" I brag, pulling the fire alarm at Victoria's Secret."

"Why did the libertarian chicken cross the road? None of your damned business! Am I being detained, officer?"

"Planned to go to Thailand for my vaca this year but after hearing about the ladyboys I thought Phuket"

"What do you call a funny baked good? a pun"

"I wanted to make a Zelda joke.. But I didn't wanna tri and force it. :D"

"My wrists hurt whenever I drive to work with my co-workers and we go through a tunnel. I think it's carpool tunnel syndrome."