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Joke of the Day

"What is the bibliophile's favorite website? Reddit! Courtesy of my 32 year old boyfriend. He cracks himself up."

"Welcome to our nearly empty restaurant. Please follow me to our shittiest table."

"I wrote a song about tortilla's Well. It's more of a wrap."

"Who needs Black Friday... when you have Mike Brown Monday?"

"*sees a truck* Nice. *sees a trucker* Oh, impressive. *sees a truckest* Ah yes. This is what I came for."

"I posted ""Happy Almost Mother's Day!"" on this chick I grew up with's Facebook page, guess I was the only one who remembered her abortion."

"Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they don't know where home is"

"Where do banana slaves go to work? Plantaintions."

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"What do you call a parsnip riding a dragon? A parsnip."