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Joke of the Day
"How do you make beef stew? Tell a cow they're being watched."
Next Joke
"Why can't T-Rexes clap? Because they're extinct."
"A survey shows that 20% of men kiss their wife goodbye when they leave the house and 80% kiss their house goodbye when they leave the wife.."
"Mad Man Wife: How would you feel if I die? Husband: I will go mad with grief. Wife (a bit glad): You wouldn't remarry, would you? Husband: You never know. A mad man can do anything!"
"I win all of my breakups by not getting fat."
"What does a black person get after sex...??? A life sentence."
"Being a man of many flavors. I survived mustard gas and pepper spray, yesterday I was honored a seasoned veteran."
"Why couldn't you trust the king of the jungle? He was a lion."
"""I've turned over a new leaf"" ~ me explaining to the nissan salesman that I had an accident on the test drive"
"Sometimes I watch Spike TV just to be reassured that I'm not even close to being the biggest asshole in the world."