189311

Joke of the Day

"Why did Elton John have to go to hospital after the Queen concert? They found traces of Mercury in him."

"""I got you, babe."" - kidnappers"

"My mouth so dry... Eli Whitney walk up on me while I'm yawning and invent the cotton gin."

"Why is Mrs. Claus disappointed? because Santa came early! I'll let myself out."

"Multiple bathrooms are the glue that hold marriages together."

"Record breaking, visionary director Steven Spielberg: 'Wanna play a dull, killed off screen character?' Samuel L Jackson: 'Sure'"

"Today my wife was on her knees before me. ...screaming: ""Don't you hide under the bed, asshole!"""

"What did the duck say when she bought some lipstick? Put it on my bill."

"Why are women and noodles alike? They both wriggle when you eat them."

"How do they separate the men from the boys in the navy? With a crowbar."