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Joke of the Day

"If somebody at a party tells you they're a writer, get excited, hold up the nearest book, and ask, wide-eyed, ""DID YOU WRITE THIS?"""

Next Joke
 
"Tonight's Democratic debate"
"[candy store] ME: I'd like to return this Tic Tac. CLERK: It looks partially eaten. ME: It's still in... CLERK: Don't ME: ...mint condition."
"What happened to the two gladiator olives? They were pitted against each other"
"I thought I heard one of the kids opening the furnace earlier Then I remembered the handle was on the outside."
"Why did the Founding Fathers hire accountants from Prague? They needed a system of Czechs and balances."
"I heard a backwards symphony coming from Beethoven's grave Turns out he's decomposing"
"Chuck Norris farted once. He did it in the Sahara forest."
"Baby metamorphosis I feel like nobody names their baby Craig. One day, around age 35, the baby just becomes Craig. that is all"
"Why is a marriage like a hurricane? They both start off sucking and blowing, but you end up losing your house."