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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a Xbox? They're both made of plastic, and little kids turn them on."

"Two blondes were walking down the railroad tracks. The first blonde said ""man, these steps are killing me!"" The second one said ""it's not the steps that are killing me, it's these low hand rails!"""

"A girl quit her job at the doughnut factory... She was fed up with the hole business."

"What do the Lannisters and Alice in Chains have in common? They pay their debts on time."

"Women... are like hardwood floors. Lay 'em right the first time, and you can walk all over them for the rest of your life."

"Are you the 7th planet from the sun? Cause I sure would like to probe Uranus."

"I want to buy a Prius because I plan on driving off of a cliff & I don't want to make too big of an explosion & kill squirrels or turtles"

"what idiot named it erectile dysfunction instead of ballzheimer's"

"Interviewer: What would you say is your greatest strength? Me: Definitely my insecurities. Very strong."

"If you ask Vanilla Ice's mother about his childhood... she'll tell you that he was a nice, nice baby."