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Joke of the Day

"I want to buy a Prius because I plan on driving off of a cliff & I don't want to make too big of an explosion & kill squirrels or turtles"

"If PETA is upset about Lady Gaga's meat dress, wait until they hear about what people do to that stuff in restaurant kitchens."

"What did the Nazi officer say when he was captured? It's not me; it's Jew."

"What do you call four mexicans in quick sand? Quatro, cinco."

"If I was in StarWars I would probably just be that guy that keeps turning his lightsaber on and off and on and off like a pen."

"You have two choices in life: You can stay single and be miserable, or get married and wish you were dead."

"There is a new Barbie doll on the market - Barbie Brain in a Jar ...an empty jar"

"The amount of time my phone spends plugged in you may as well call it a landline"

"What does an Ethiopian have in common with Yoko Ono? They both are living off of dead beatles."

"Two Snare drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff buh dum tss"